Nothing to say?

How can I have nothing to say in such a busy and overwhelming time in my life? Have you ever had so much going on that you have no time to process, digest and dish it out?

Engagement: such a strange, wonderful whirlwind. It has gone so fast! There is just over two months left. Which means we have been engaged for almost 6 months. We still have a lot to do/plan. I've realized that wedding planning is not my calling. It has been a lot of fun working to make our day special and unique, but I will be glad once the day is here. I cant wait to celebrate the day with family and friends, but most of all I can't wait to be married to Joshua Akers.

Internship: such a strange, wonderful whirlwind. Being in a high school setting is somewhat surreal. Being there brings me new perspective on myself and has caused me to relive memories and moments that seem like yesterday. I look forward to working with the students and their families. The challenges are many; drugs, gangs, depression, peer-pressure. The rewards/blessing vast; an amazing high school/counseling staff, amazing learning opportunities, closer to having a masters degree!

Classes: not bad right now. Which is good because I am paying a lot of money for them! All in all I am mostly done with classes. I have several left, but mostly I'll be able to just focus on internship.

Work: paying the bills. As I get closer to being done with school I get more antsy to stop serving people food and start providing therapy.

Life: is that what is flying by?

God: is teaching me so much. I am learning to trust, rely and depend on Him. It is a continually process that takes work every single day.

By the way - what's up with my sidebar? How do I fix it?

Seasons

Ecclesiastes 3. 1-8
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.


Unlike the weather in Portland the seasons of my life have been moving quickly. Very quickly. It seems that at times before I even realize I am in a season that time has passed. I have been meditating on this verse for some time now. It applies to all aspects of life right now.

One of which is: internship. As part of my graduate program I have to do an internship. Actual experience counseling people. Internship is the source of stress, anxiety and tears for many grad students. Just securing a site is an ordeal as you compete with your peers in interviews much like job interview, except you don't get paid.

The time between when I secured my site and my start date (about two months) has been full of fear and anxiety. Almost overwhelmingly so. I questioned my abilities and competencies. I was stuck in this place. It is not a good place to be at. It is not conducive to movement. A place of fear holds you captive and disables you.

About a week ago something shifted. I became unstuck. I realized that this is a new season for me. It is a season of learning and growing. It is a season of being vulnerable to "not knowing it all." A season to try and retry. I do have the skills and competencies. I am not a seasoned therapist . . . Yet. We all start somewhere.

This new place is a better place to be at. More free, open and rewarding. Not that the fear and anxiety has completely disappeared . . .

Plus more blogs to come . . *




* Hopefully